You know that feeling of dread that claws at your stomach when you're faced with something you really, really don't want to do? Like having to tell a genuine 'nice-guy' that it's over because you just don't fancy him enough. Or when you go into work the morning after a boozy office Christmas party, unsure whether anyone captured photographic evidence of what you were trying to do to your sexy (married) boss on the dancefloor.
Well, that same feeling is what I was experiencing today, right before I went for my first post-pregnancy wax. I had been dreading it so much that I'd been delaying the inevitable. At some point, it would be crunch time, and that point was today.
I turned up at the beautician full of apologies. As I unbuttoned my jeans I rambled through a dozen reasons to excuse my lack of self-maintanance: I had been travelling in Africa during a lot of my pregnancy and it wasn't possible to find a good beautician... I was so tired when I found out that I was having a baby that I couldn't find the energy for it.... After the C-Section my scar needed time to heal....
Soon enough the jeans were down and there was nothing left for me but to lie down on the freshly-papered table, staring up at the ceiling and blushing in shame.
The whole experience got me questioning my attitude towards beauty now that I'm a mum. Evidently I don't have the time to preen and polish - I am more likely to hunt the aisles for nappy rash cream than I am for wrinkle ones. It actually took my partner buying me a gift voucher at the beauticians and a promise to babysit for me to finally (and I mean FINALLY) face the music and trim my lady bush.
Truthfully, I don't feel attractive any more and I understand why:- I haven't had quality beauty sleep in 16 weeks. It's not exactly top priority at the minute. But will it ever come back? Will I ever pamper myself enough to feel 'lovely' again? Or does the ability to put yourself first leave you the moment you enter the recovery room and stare at your little bundle of joy; the essence of beauty itself?
All I know for sure is that the wax was every bit as painful as I'd dreaded it would be and the results don't seem as worth it as they once did. Not for me at least; maybe my fella is feeling a little more favourably towards the results!
No comments:
Post a Comment